Resesarch Paper RD

Research Paper Intro

In the United States, women have fought toward equality for years, a clear example being the fight for women’s suffrage from the late 1910s through the early 1920s. In the century since then, the fight of equality has shifted toward matters of work and home life, abolishing the idea that women could not maintain a job and have a family (“History of the Women’s Rights Movement”). However, this movement of equality has overlooked one crucial freedom: the freedom to express one’s sexuality. Sexuality is the psychological and physical opinions one has concerning sex in regards to themselves, and sexual expression is how a person chooses to display and/or satisfy their sexuality. Due to the neglection of sexuality in the fight for equality, modern society evolved to be more open-minded for women being equal to men in most other areas, while a disapproving double-standard (an attitude “which is unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups”) that favors males’ sexuality and restricts that of females persisted from generation to generation (“Double Standard”). Researchers who have looked at this subject have shown that in terms of sexuality, there is a clear gap between what is acceptable for males versus females. While society accepts a man’s sexuality, often expecting higher levels of activity, the same can not be said for the attitude towards a woman’s sexuality. Leslie Bell’s research in her essay “Hard to Get: Twenty-Something Women and the Paradox of Sexual Freedom” shows the overarching pattern of confusion among real women on how they have expressed their sexuality, but felt insecure about doing so. Unfortunately, there is a lack of research into the explanation for this double-standard, despite this being a crucial aspect needed for women to gain social equality. Drawing from the ideals of Andrew Solomon and Michael Moss, it is the influence of a person’s family, friends, and media that perpetuates the stigma that women, like those Bell speaks about, should not express their sexuality. The significant amount of time parents and other authority figures, as well as friends, during a child’s development start molding the child’s opinions to be similar to that of the parent. Then, the media’s portrayal of women, often as either overly sexual or prudish, hinder the younger generation’s ability to think of the average women as having a balance between the two extremes.

Society teaches young girls that sexual feelings are a healthy and normal part of life, yet it disapproves of women who develop with a higher sex drive as they get older. In her book A Return to Modesty, Wendy Shalit describes how her school began teaching sex education in fourth grade, so when she was about nine or ten (Shalit 15-16). Shalit’s school is one of the many that offer sex education to prepubescent children. These lessons focus on preparing the kids on the changes that will happen to them in the next few years. Teachers discuss physical changes, relationships, and sexuality, emphasizing how the changes are natural and no one should be embarrassed, yet in ten years time, almost all of the girls will feel insecure about their sexuality. In “Hard to Get: Twenty-Something Women and the Paradox of Sexual Freedom,” Leslie Bell describes the story of “good girl”  Alicia, a woman who “knew what she wanted from sex and actively fantasized about it…[but did not] share those desired with the men with whom she was in relationships” (Bell 31). Alicia most likely attended a school that offered a program where she was taught that those feelings were normal, so why does she still feel uncomfortable? Alicia and women in positions similar to hers feel like this because of the double-standard surrounding sexuality in young adults. In an attempt to explain the double-standard, Mildred Weil, writer of Sex and Sexuality: From Repression to Expression, states “The conservative version...states that women who engage in premarital intercourse are to be condemned...while men have the right to engage in premarital coition” (Weil 22). This expectation for sexuality and sexual expression completely undermines the fight toward social equality by placing men and women in two separate boxes, each with a limited view. Women can no longer utilize their twenties as a time of sexual exploration or freedom, unless they want to risk being shamed by society as too promiscuous, or a “being a slut” (Bell 27). The removal this double-standard requires an understanding of how it has continued from generation to generation.

The unconscious transfer of ideals from parents, or other authority figures (a school teacher for example), to child ingrains a large part of the double-standard into children. From birth to their twenties, a child most likely spends a majority of their time with their parents. As they grow and become more aware of their surroundings, they look to their parents as a moral guide. Teaching them what is right, wrong, socially acceptable, and what is unacceptable. Most parents realize this to the point of teaching their kids where to poop, how to eat, and play nice. However, guardians do not realize that this system of teaching occurs even when they are not intending to give their child a lesson. In his essay “Son,” Andrew Solomon relays the story from his childhood when he and his mother were at a store and Solomon had a choice of either a pink balloon or a blue balloon. He wanted the pink one, but after his mother’s intervention he took the blue one (Solomon 374). While his mother was simply trying to protect him from the judgmental system of society. Her influence on the decision perpetuated the stereotype that boys can not like the color pink as it is a girl color. Societal norms like these depend on the parent reinforcing them onto their impressionable child so they appear normal and fit in with others. Regardless of whether it is a boy having a pink balloon or female sexuality, if parents continue reinforce the expectation, the system will not change, even if the original reasoning becomes lost or extremely outdated.

The media also plays a hand in perpetuating the stigmatization of women’s sexuality.  Due to the internet, society’s connection to each other has exponentially increased. It has also facilitated the ability for the entertainment industry or other media to reach a larger audience. Nowadays, most people over fifteen have at least one social media account and/or a way to watch television shows or movies, either online or on cable. With such high levels exposure, teenagers are almost forced to base their opinions of certain topics off of what they see.

With the stigmatization of a female’s sexuality, the title of being a modern, open-minded society must remain hopeful goals for the future.